Dreadful Typewriter

 *Another* shooting, begad. Not funny, though, people got killed, though not as many as at that school in Texas. This one happened at a hospital in Tulsa, and the cops got there licketty split, yet not in time, apparently, to prevent some deaths. When someone is intent on killing, they've usually thought it all through and made plans, and all the rest of us have is hope and guesswork and experience of other incidents that are not quite the same as the current one. Anyway. In happier news, I have been mean on the Twitter. I'm not even mad, but there are things I have decided not to put up with any more. I am filtering out as much mention of a certain event in the courts between a couple of actors who I will not name, because I do not care about them beyond the usual "they're fellow humans, hope they get better from whatever their deal is, or shut up about it, whichever." But it's apparently this century's O.J. Simpson trial, because it's all about men t...

 I have a weird pain in my arm. No, not that  kind of weird pain, more like a bruise or something. I was sitting around moping about my future of cancer or whatever then I remembered a couple of days ago I moved the iMac from the sun porch* into the office* and though it's not heavy I bet a corner of it pressed my arm there or something and, as has been happening for years now, the effects took a few days to show up. Also I'm achy in general today. I told M. I finally figured it out, what's bothering me about living up here: I feel like I'm on vacation and I've stayed too long. The same feeling I'd get when the end of staying at my grandparents' place in North Carolina would approach and I'd start thinking of how much I missed my favorite radio station, my own bed, ground that wasn't all tilty, even the beach. (They lived in Highlands in the summer, which is in the mountains, sort of like where I live now.) Only I can't go home, all my stuff is h...

 Looking back on my entries I didn't mention that my sister had pulled her head out of her ass and gone back to not drinking and we're speaking again. So I have tentatively started thinking about moving back to Florida, though not this year. But I want to at least visit, to see if I really can stand the thought of living there again.

 I thought work was going to end me this week. One co-worker decided not to take it any more, and she's gone. I don't even have her questionable family and community ties to support me so I'm stuck at the place a little longer (and I even signed a lease for another year here). Anyway, apparently some change was made to the software we use to do our stuff that meant something that had previously worked, ceased to do so. I would like to know who made that spur-of-the-moment decision so I can punch them, or at least fantasize about it. Or if there were meetings had and plans made, I need to find out who I can ask who decided to leave me out of it. I would have loved to know what to expect instead of having five heart attacks and fifteen nervous breakdowns! (Also I used swears , which I don't much... well hadn't been for a while, long enough that everyone was startled! Haha.) Anyway, at least the managers in the office are backing me up, which makes me feel a little bet...

 I'm not sure if I should just make a checklist or something, but I keep thinking "I want that" and then forgetting it, only to remember later when I've spent my month on something else. I may update this list from time to time. Here it is: A proper burr grinder coffee maker, not sure of brand yet A new laser printer And/or a Canon portable printer The Lamy 2000 Makrolon fountain pen, extra-fine nib Possibly to be superceded by the Lamy Black Forest Studio pen, same nib size, which I'll probably get real soon now A vacation at the beach (solo, as isolated as possible as is my practice pandemic or no pandemic)--NOT Virginia Beach I hope, not sure I'll make it to Florida A washer and dryer. Will probably have to wait until I move to some place with it already installed or with hookups To wash my car. Get the car inspected you dope. Money???? Oh well that's what I came up with so far.

 Well. I've been talking to my sister again. She still lives in Miami. She was still with the same guy as she'd been with when I left in 1999, and they'd gotten married a few years ago. She seemed to have turned her life around somewhat--she had stopped drinking and doing drugs, was taking care of her health, etc. She wasn't working, they live in a cruddy studio in a cruddy apartment building in a cruddy area near Little Havana, which considering their income (apparently the husband works as a security guard and does the same as a second job, she seems to think he has lots of money but I doubt it) they are lucky to have. Unlike as it turns out the rest of the people in their building they were paying their rent, so they weren't thrown out in the recent eviction frenzy.  But, that situation seems to have caused her to fall off the wagon. One of her sleazy neighbors plied her with wine and beer, she was inviting these losers into their tiny home "because they had...

I think the problem I'm having with Virginia is I can't find anything to say about it. I've lived here for 11 years now, and I just can't get this place. It's what I dreamed about as a child living in the city of Miami: forests! mountains! four seasons like in all those books I read -- especially autumn! and snow! But as I kept on living here, slowly the dream died. Maybe if I'd moved to another city I'd feel differently, but I moved to a small town--a "microcity" it is true, with a small, liberal, cultured population--and I feel like all I do is go to work and then go home. At first I traveled around a bit, but then I got a job and either had no time (long hours), no money (low pay), and then I started getting sick, so I ended up stuck indoors most of the time. I still haven't completely recovered from being sick, I think. I'm out of shape, basically, but everything seems so far away, and there is still the no money and no time thing. I al...